If not, there's a good chance that you've gleaned that from the fact that every other post I write is about adoption.
When it is done right, adoption is an amazing thing. There are children that don't have families getting matched up with families that have room (or MAKE ROOM) for another child.
Where adoption starts to annoy me is when it's oriented more toward finding 'the perfect kid' for a family.
I'm on a few adoption mailing lists and, right now, there has been a slow down in one of the more popular international adoption countries. There is post after post about how long people have been waiting. 10 months. 12 months. 14 months. Don't get me wrong, that's a LONG time. And I'm sure it's hard. You've got that child in your mind constantly (and that's before you even get your referral). Once you've got that referral and you've seen your child's face....well, forget about it. You now have a kid....your kid....sitting in an orphanage or group home or foster home or wherever but they aren't in your home and that's tough.
I get it.
It sucks.
Let me tell you something else that sucks.
The photo with this post - it's not a generic stock image.
Her name is Monique (well, no it's not, but that's the name I'm allowed to post - her real name is very cute though, trust me).
9 years ago she was found in some bushes in West Africa.
A tiny baby. Abandoned.
She spent the next 9 years growing up in an orphanage.
You've been waiting 9 months for your kid?
She's been waiting 9 YEARS for her family.
I'm sure that older child adoption isn't for everyone. But, I'm also pretty sure it would be for a whole lot more people if we didn't let our fears get the best of us.
And what's up with that? Being afraid of a little kid? I know quite a few people that have said, "Well, it would be nice to adopt an older child in theory but you just don't know what you'll get."
Well, let me tell you what you will get - A child that has suffered more grief and loss in nine years that most of us will suffer in ninety. A child that will simultaneously be grateful to have a family and terrified of having a family. A little girl that will make you laugh with joy, scream with frustration, cry with exhaustion and smile with contentment.
A beautiful daughter of God, made in His image, beloved by Him
That is what you will get....if you say yes.
It's a long shot, but, I have committed to spreading the word for about "Monique". If you are interested (or know of anyone who is interested) in making this special girl a part of your family, please let me know. You have to be married (minimum of 5 years) and be at least 30. Please pass my contact information along to anyone that might say yes. [thejessicarudder at gmail dot com]
Well said! I have often thought about this when I hear comments and concerns about what if our twins are "troubled" etc. Well, I would expect that they will have challenges....I think that I would if I were in their shoes! And then, if we aren't willing to help, what is the solution? Do they want to say to these children..."I know that you have experienced trauma and loss and have never known the love of a family due to absolutely no fault of your own, but because I have been blessed, my life feels pretty comfy and I don't want to step out of that even if it means that you continue to suffer." I hope this doesn't sound harsh because I don't think many people that bring this up to me actually think it all the way through to this degree. But, I wish they would, because I *know* that life may be difficult for awhile(since we have adopted before) but we still need to do what we can because they are so worth it and I would hope that if I were a traumatized and suffering child, that someone would think I was worth it!
ReplyDeleteCynthia
http://www.adreamadoption.blogspot.com